Last Update 22:40
The most bizarre Egyptian quotes of 2011
A prime minister admits getting killed; a salafist compares bikinis on the beach to the brakes on a car; an ex-general in the army wants protesters to fry in Hitler's ovens; a Mubarak-lover actress prefers pizza to revolution...
Hatem Maher, Sherif Tarek, Friday 30 Dec 2011
Share/Bookmark
Views: 21687
Figures

Enjoy Ahram Online’s compilation of the most peculiar Egyptian quotes in 2011.

People of priorities

Naguib Sawiris

“I’m quite fanatic about my scotch in the evening, so I don’t like anybody telling me that I can’t drink.” Not possible economic reforms or bank restrictions, but alcohol was the first thing to cross the mind of Coptic telecommunications tycoon Naguib Sawiris when asked about potential Muslim Brotherhood rule.

Mohamed Nour

“The bikini issue is no big deal. The tourism industry in Egypt needs drastic changes that we should be more concerned about. It’s like manufacturing a vehicle; you work on the important things, then the minor details, like the brakes.” Al-Nour Party’s spokesperson Mohamed Nour appears to believe that imposing a dress code on tourists is as “unimportant” as brakes on a car.

Afaf Shoeib

“We are devastated; do you know how long 10 days are? There are kids who eat. My niece told me ‘Aunt, I fancy a pizza,’ my nephew said ‘I want a rib’ … he’s two years old.” The public did not show an abundance of sympathy for the “misery” of actress Afaf Shoeib during the uprising, but rather tried to picture that little carnivore nephew of hers.

A little bit over the top

Ahmed Shafiq

“I fought in battles, killed, got killed and have done everything.” Egypt’s first post-revolution prime minister, Ahmed Shafiq, admitted dying “once” in his renowned argument on live TV with revolutionary writer Alaa Al-Aswani. No wonder he was the shortest lasting premier in Egyptian history.

Hosni Mubarak

“I am sure that the overwhelming majority of Egyptians know who Hosni Mubarak is,” the toppled president said hours before that very same majority embarked on exuberant celebrations across Egypt and in many other countries to celebrate his overthrow. Apparently, he was right.

Field Marshal Mohamed Hussein Tantawi

“I have been fighting for 40 years, more than 40 years. I will remain a fighter for the sake of God and Egypt.” With a simple mathematical calculation, one should wonder who are the enemies SCAF head Field Marshal Mohamed Hussein Tantawi has been battling for over four decades.

Adel Emam

“For 30 years Egyptians have felt powerless, on 1 January Vodafone launches [“Power to you”] in Egypt.” Vodafone, one of the three mobile companies that cut telecommunications during the revolution, hinted at its “contribution” to the uprising in an advertisement whose main character was actor Adel Imam, a major Mubarak disciple.

Down with the coming president

“Down with the coming president,” read a small paper held by a protester in Tahrir Square on the Friday of Correcting the Path, 9 September. He obviously cannot get enough of the revolution.

Military comments, or no comment!

Hassan El-Roweiny

“Whenever I wanted to ease the tensions of protesters in Tahrir Square, I spread rumours that, for instance, the former interior minister was arrested. I know how to calm down the square, and how to inflame it.” Ironically, the confession of SCAF member Hassan El-Roweiny is similar to the military council’s description of what alleged “hidden hands” have been doing.

“The armed forces and military personnel are from the people; none of them would ever fire on civilians. Even if someone dressing in the army uniform fired on people, then he’s not from our armed forces.” Military General Fouad Fioud blows another whistle on the “third party”?

Adel Emara

“We exercised enviably high levels of self-restraint.” Right after military soldiers mercilessly beat up, dragged around and tortured many protesters during the Cabinet office clashes in December, SCAF member Adel Emara commented on the behavior of the army towards demonstrators.

Talaat Zakaria

“If one shell from a tank was fired in the air, all the non-Egyptian cowards would run and hand themselves in.” This comment was not meant to be a joke by comedian Talaat Zakaria, but rather a suggestion for how the army might evacuate Tahrir Square during the 18-day revolt.

Kato

“What is your feeling when you see Egypt and its history burn in front of you? Yet you worry about a vagrant who should be burnt in Hitler’s ovens,” said Egyptian army adviser Abdel-Moneim Kato, who came across as a Nazi. Unashamedly.

Abbassiya stars

Abbassiya

“When you say 125 years, what’s that supposed to mean? When I travelled abroad they told me there is no such thing. So are they trying to refer to the day the revolt began?” Music composer and crooner Amr Mostafa used his extraordinary ability to “read between the lines” to realise how “vicious” Coca Cola’s slogan “Delivering 125 Years of Happiness” really is.

“I have seen people distributing special meals [to protesters] … from restaurants like Hardees and Wimpy.” As KFC was linked to the revolution, the British hamburger chain Wimpy, which disappeared from Egypt over a decade ago, is the new sponsor of revolutionaries, according to a nostalgic Ahmed who phoned in to give his “testimony” on Nahdet Masr TV show.

Amr Mostafa

“There were two [spies] who have the Swiss nationality … they are Islamists who are preaching in Nasr City [Cairo] and they distribute handouts that say ‘No for change.’” Mostafa again in one of his “moments” during the revolution, though he forgot to explain why two anti-change foreign Muslims would pose a threat of any kind.

Obama

“Obama, you coward, you are an American agent.” In Abbassiya, pro-SCAF protesters chanted a slogan that might have prompted US President Barack Obama to ponder becoming an agent for North Korea or Iran after being exposed.

Ahmed “Zebidar

“It was a black day for all Egypt when the Central Security Forces collapsed.” In one of his so-called poems, the “multi-talented” wannabe Ahmed “Zebidar” (a tacky Egyptian pronunciation of the English word spider) expressed his admiration for the Central Security Forces, the deposed regime’s number one oppression tool.

Definitions and clarifications

Hazem Shoman

“What does a civic state mean? It means your mother would wear no veil ... And liberality means there is no difference between a man and a woman; manhood would be forbidden in the first place.” Salafist preacher Hazem Shoman provides “contemporary” Salafist definitions of secularism and liberality.

“All the Revolutionary Socialists Movement wants is anarchy … it was founded and is funded by the CIA,” said Nour, the namesake of his party, but forgot to provide a reason why would a group getting money from US Intelligence would opt to adopt socialism.

Omar Suleiman

“ElBaradei is not one of the opposition. He has his own group, which is related to the Brother Muslimhood, or has links with the Brother Muslimhood and Brother Muslimhood asked me that they want to open a dialogue with me without Mr ElBaradei.” Mispronouncing the name of the most potent political force in the country three times in a single sentence, former Vice-President Omar Suleiman expectedly failed to talk the revolutionaries out of deposing Mubarak.

Kamal El-Ganzouri,

“My age is not a disadvantage, I’m not coming to lift weights,” said Prime Minister Kamal El-Ganzouri, shortly 78. He probably had a change of heart after spending a few weeks as Egypt’s interim premier.

El-Shahat

“Democracy is not only unorthodox, it is also tantamount to atheism.” The controversial Salafist leader Abdel-Moneim El-Shahat reveals his views about democracy, a few months before running for Egypt’s first “democratic” parliamentary elections.

“The tourists want to see the statues, and that generates revenue for the country, but the statues are forbidden in Islam. So I would suggest covering them with a wax mask.” El-Shahat revealed his intention of depriving tourists of their habit of worshipping pharaonic “idols”. Maybe it was them who cast a spell on him, leading him to join the “forbidden” elections.

And the winner is ...

 Tawfik Okasha

“Take care and beware of that date: 13/13/2013. On 13/13/2013 the Masons will … ” Not only did TV presenter and parliamentary and presidential candidate Tawfik Okasha challenge the Gregorian calendar that was introduced in the 16th century, but has also left his followers in indefinite suspense while waiting for the aforesaid date.





Short link:

 

Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
Ahram Online welcomes readers' comments on all issues covered by the site, along with any criticisms and/or corrections. Readers are asked to limit their feedback to a maximum of 1000 characters (roughly 50 words). All comments/criticisms will, however, be subject to the following code
  • We will not publish comments which contain rude or abusive language, libelous statements, slander and personal attacks against any person/s.
  • We will not publish comments which contain racist remarks or any kind of racial or religious incitement against any group of people, in Egypt or outside it.
  • We welcome criticism of our reports and articles but we will not publish personal attacks, slander or fabrications directed against our reporters and contributing writers.
  • We reserve the right to correct, when at all possible, obvious errors in spelling and grammar. However, due to time and staffing constraints such corrections will not be made across the board or on a regular basis.
13



Hala ellaithy
06-01-2012 11:30pm
0-
4+
ELRAGEL ELLI WARRA OMAR SELIMAN
Loooool bas fein elragel elli warra omar seliman HE DESERVES A PARAGRAPH IN THIS PAGE :)
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
12



Andreas Meier
01-01-2012 05:10pm
0-
4+
Great selection
A compilation realy worth to read, well done! I hope for the sake of the country that above forecasts, guidelines & statements are not implemented or taken serious in 2012
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
11



E. Sokkar
31-12-2011 06:53pm
0-
8+
Look at what we have to put up with :P
yep, that's just the very least that we egyptians get if we just sit home and watch TV .. and it's a LOT worse in reality .. and there's a question about wither this was published in the local newspaper .. well, no .. it's just here on the english online version .. the one that is distributed contains just more of the material above .. stuff that send your blood pressure through the roof
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
10



ali lotfy
31-12-2011 03:52pm
0-
3+
Excellent and Thanks
Very courageous, I Think when Amr Mostafa said that the Devil is behind the Egyptian revolution and that he knows who is behind the devil is worth
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
9



Nachoua
30-12-2011 09:41pm
0-
4+
Well done....
Enjoyed your quotes collection tremendously. Thank you for the giggles. Happy New Year.
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
8



maria
30-12-2011 07:12pm
0-
21+
nice to hear some humour recaptured, however black
you forgot Omar Suleiman saying: 'We ask all those who escaped from jail to return to their cells'. A classic.
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
7



Inas
30-12-2011 06:14pm
0-
10+
hilarious
This is absolutely one of the best ironical articles I've ever read about Egypt lately ! ! Thumps up !
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
6



Douglas
30-12-2011 05:07pm
9-
1+
Director
all of these are great, except I think the first Al-Nour spokesperson was not saying brakes are unimportant. He split the clause he was trying to finish and it made it look that way. I think he was saying that brakes are actually the foundationally important things on cars. But still kind of funny.
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
5



Waseem
30-12-2011 12:45pm
0-
8+
Brilliant Jounalism
The beat piece of Egyptian journalism I have ever read. Well done!
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
4



Ahmed Rehab
30-12-2011 11:28am
0-
7+
Outstanding Journalism
What a breath of fresh air this article was in the Egyptian media, it was smart, witty, funny, and on point, It also parted ways with the old habit of cronyism that al Ahram and other state media dumped on us. Love that the article was not afraid to call out SCAF and others on their unbecoming moments. Congratulations to Hatem, Sherif and al Ahram. You've won me back as a reader!
Email
 
Name
 
Comment's Title
 
Comment
G
30-12-2011 08:21pm
0-
1+
Question
Were these blogs published in Egyptian local newspaper?

© 2010 Ahram Online. Advertising