Late February. "Some day soon," I wrote, referring to festive demonstrations in Tahrir Square after Mubarak finally stepped down, "people taking to the streets spontaneously to celebrate (a thousands- or hundreds of thousands-strong, heterogeneous group of people exercising the right to use their own public space without being subjected to tear gas bought with their own money) will be the norm in Egypt."


5 August. On the way to Bab al Louq, my taxi passes a throng of Central Security officers at the site of "the Revolution", their unassuming black caps spattered with the bright red berets of Military Police. Facing the stalling cars, soldiers line the edge of the main traffic island, the kernel of the by now dreaded Sit-In. Like well-fed orks from two different clans of Arda -- army conscripts, all -- both Central Security in black and Military Police in desert camouflage are shielded, armed and ready to strike. In and around the sickly myrtle trucks parked everywhere -- those evilmobiles forever associated with the violent appropriation of public space, now bolstered up by army deployments -- there are many, many more of them: why this desperation to deprive the young, the socially and politically conscious and the ethically inclined of using public space they are entitled to by birth?

***
Craning his neck dramatically the way taxi drivers do, to look at nothing in particular, my driver suddenly remarks, "Something's up" -- no kidding! Later that night, I will find out about the needlessly vicious disbanding of an open-air iftar outside Omar Makram Mosque; earlier in the day a symbolic funerary march in honour of the Martyr of Abbassiya was likewise violently blocked from entering the square: and a good portion of the public have wholeheartedly supported the use of force: "Hit hard with 'the electric' to scare the enemy," one participant in the iftar testified to hearing Military Police personnel bark urgently at each other as they charged.


As it is, I am thinking, the business of collective self-expression is left to that all-male adolescent mob leisurely crammed, for lack of anything better to do on a Ramadan evening, behind the rails of the pavement, shrieking and running idiotically while they fawn over the soldiers from afar. Individual rights are not an issue, not even for the revolutionaries of a few months ago themselves.


Grunting an expression of sympathy to the driver, I listen to him vent his impatience: "They should calm down, for God's sake. The army took Mubarak to court to please them -- what more do they want? Can't they let the country get on?" He is referring to protesters; it strikes me that it is they, not the menacing usurpers now literally overrunning Revolution, that bother him. "Who would have dreamed of seeing Mubarak and his sons behind bars," he says, echoing a huge majority of Egyptians. "The army has been good, they should let justice take its course."

***
I too have seen justice, I am thinking: the Historical Moment everyone is so excited about. I have seen the grotesque spectacle of an octogenarian, seemingly drugged, brought into a court room lying down (no doubt only to be acquitted in due course). It was a patently unnecessary pose, as it seemed to me, which served to strip Mubarak of what rags of dignity he might still have on. With the faux patriarch were his two prodigal sons, once scourges of the economy and democratic process simply by virtue of being the strongman's progeny. In this Society the head of state is idolized regardless of his credentials, and his sons have absolute impunity: Society gives it to them voluntarily, as it voluntarily cleans religion not only out of spiritual but also out of moral substance, marginalises or casts out its best human assets, turns political opposition and intellectual activity -- culture, into CV-building exercises, morally and materially liquidates difference, and relinquishes people's basic birthrights.


They are standing at attention in white prison garments invented solely for cronies of the official mafia, the two prodigal sons, surround by some of the top brigands in the torture-reliant extortion gang known as the Ministry of Interior. Between a distinctly unimposing judge bumbling his Arabic grammar and Mubarak's singularly eloquent lawyer, scores of more or less ridiculous ambulance chasers jockey for a few minutes of rhetoric. One of the two sons holds a Quran. Looking impassive as ever, his hair freshly dyed, Mubarak desultorily picks his nose.


For this, while no one is allowed to loiter in Tahrir Square, the martyrs died.


***
I too have seen the patriarch and the prodigal sons, the brigands and those who protect them, and I have seen the so called revolutionaries shedding tears of joy over the Historical Moment. But it is the iftar, ending with electroshock batons and "the enemy" running on the asphalt, that I keep thinking about. I think about the iftar and the significance of the trial, the capacity of even the most highly educated and politically conscious people to say that they are grateful to have lived to see it happen, adding -- in the same breath -- that events reflect a vendetta between Mubarak and powerful figures in the army (not, it is to be surmised, the will of either the revolution or the people). The motherland, then, remains unchanged:


Emotional response is one thing, political analysis another. Moral responsibility is lost somewhere in between.


I think about the iftar and I think about those who died, how we will always have their blood on our hands -- the Optimists especially -- and how the grotesque spectacle of the unnecessarily prostate octogenarian is the lie by which we convince ourselves that we have avenged their deaths; vengeance, of course, being the object, not the rights they died standing up for.



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