Life is a series of sequential responsibilities, and it is wise for parents to equip their children early with the tools that empower them to face those responsibilities and challenges.

Mothers and fathers strive to provide security and basic needs for their children, including nutrition, education, and a safe environment.

However, raising a child goes beyond these basic elements. It involves nurturing their maturity and psychological balance, enabling them to see things from a healthy perspective, and equipping them with the skills to solve problems they will inevitably encounter.

In psychology, reaching a significant degree of maturity is defined as the ability to respond to problems and challenges in an appropriate manner.

This response is generally acquired rather than instinct.

Maturity also encompasses being aware of the appropriate time and place for behaviour and knowing when to act with balance and rationality, considering the circumstances and culture of the society in which one lives.

How do we cultivate maturity in children?
 

In one of his books, Dr. John Mayer, a clinical psychologist at the University of New Hampshire specializing in emotional intelligence and personality psychology, emphasizes the importance of developing emotional intelligence from a young age.

Mayer highlights the significance of encouraging children to identify and express their feelings. Actively listening and validating their emotions create a foundation of trust and empathy.

Dr. Lisa D'Amour, author of three New York Times bestsellers on child psychology, also stresses the importance of promoting independence and responsibility. She suggests that parents gradually delegate age-appropriate tasks to children, allowing them to develop self-reliance and decision-making skills.

Kenneth Ginsburg, a Pediatrics professor at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, emphasizes the concept of flexibility in parenting and its link to achieving maturity.

While it is important to establish clear frameworks and rules that define right from wrong, parents should also allow room for mistakes and provide understanding for others. This fosters a high degree of maturity in children by helping them understand that everything has multiple sides, and each person has their own story and circumstances.

AO spoke to Egyptian expert Noha Abu Sitta, who specialises in raising children and evaluating their behaviour. She holds a degree in child and adolescent psychoeducation from the University of Oxford.

Abu Sitta is certified as a trainer by the Dr. William Sears Health Institute, Dr. Lynn Lott, and Dr. Jane Nelson (from the California Board of Behavioral Sciences).

 

 

She presents a set of basics that form a general framework for raising a balanced child, whose behaviour is characterized by maturity at the various stages of his life, as follows.

Tasks and responsibilities
 

Abu Sitta said that entrusting the child with tasks and responsibilities — provided that they suit his age and capabilities — is extremely important, because this would make him feel his value and the importance of his role, regardless of his position in the family.

She added that these tasks can range from personal care to assisting siblings or peers, and ultimately, larger tasks that demonstrate their capabilities.

Early economic responsibility
 

Life is numbers and financial balances the child will face sooner or later. Part of the maturity stage is for the child to learn what money is, the value of things, and how to save. Another meaning emerges from this, financial giving.

“Teaching children about money, the value of things, and financial organization from an early age builds their understanding of financial responsibility and the importance of planning and saving,” Abu Sitta noted.

Consequences are part of growth
 

Furthermore, Abu Sitta affirms that it is important for parents not to exaggerate in protecting children from consequences.

Allowing children to experience the consequences of their actions helps them develop a realistic understanding of life's ups and downs and understand that making mistakes is natural and provides an opportunity for growth and learning, she added.

The art of managing emotions
 

Teaching children to manage their emotions and differentiate between feelings and actions is crucial.

Creating an environment where children feel safe to express their emotions without judgment allows them to develop emotional intelligence and make thoughtful decisions.

"We should teach children that there is a difference between feelings and their translation into actions or situations. All feelings are valid, and a child can feel them without blame, but he should slow down and realize that their manifestation is another story. This realization makes the whole difference when children mature up," Abu Sitta concluded.