In an age of social media oversharing and personal branding, the line between public and private has become increasingly blurred. Although it can be tempting to share every detail of your life with friends, family, and followers, psychology suggests that some things are best kept private. 

Revealing too much can have unintended consequences, but by protecting your personal information, insecurities, and inner struggles, you can maintain control over your life narrative and safeguard your mental and emotional well-being.

Here’s what psychology says you should never reveal about yourself:

Financial status:

Your financial situation is one of the most sensitive aspects of your life. Discussing your income, savings, debts, or investments can lead to envy, judgement, or even exploitation. Psychologists suggest that keeping your finances private helps maintain personal boundaries and reduces the risk of others taking advantage of you. Additionally, conversations about money can create tension in relationships, especially if there’s a perceived imbalance. It’s better to keep your financial status close to your chest, discussing it only with those you trust completely.

Past trauma:

While it’s important to address past trauma, it’s equally important to be selective about whom you share it with. Oversharing personal traumas can make others uncomfortable or lead to unwanted pity, which might reinforce feelings of helplessness. According to psychological studies, reliving trauma through frequent discussion can also hinder your healing process. Instead, it’s recommended to confide in a therapist or a supportive friend who can offer empathy and understanding without judgement.

Relationship issues:

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but airing your relationship problems in public or with acquaintances can do more harm than good. Psychologists warn that discussing your relationship struggles too openly can lead to biased advice, increased stress, and a weakened bond with your partner. Instead of seeking external validation or opinions, focus on resolving issues privately with your partner or a relationship counsellor. This approach fosters a stronger, more resilient connection.

Personal insecurities:

We all have insecurities, but broadcasting them can have a negative impact on how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself. According to psychological research, when you vocalise your insecurities, you risk reinforcing them and allowing others to use them against you. It’s important to work on your self-esteem internally, perhaps with the help of a therapist, rather than seeking reassurance from others. Keeping your insecurities private can help you maintain confidence and project a stronger, more assured image.

Future goals and plans:

While sharing your dreams and goals with others can be motivating, it can also set you up for unnecessary pressure and potential failure. Studies in psychology suggest that when you announce your goals prematurely, you may receive praise or validation before achieving them, which can diminish your motivation to follow through. Additionally, sharing your plans can invite unsolicited advice or criticism that might sway you off course. It’s often wiser to work quietly towards your goals, revealing them only after you’ve made significant progress or achieved them.

Resentments and grudges:

Holding onto resentments or grudges is never healthy, but airing them can make matters worse. Publicly discussing your grievances can escalate conflicts, damage your reputation, and make you appear negative or vindictive. Psychology advises dealing with these feelings privately, either through self-reflection, conversation with the person involved, or therapy. This approach can help you resolve issues constructively and maintain healthier relationships.

* A version of this article appears in print in the 26 September, 2024 edition of Al-Ahram Weekly