Marriage is a complex journey that requires effort, patience, and understanding to thrive. It’s often described as a lifelong partnership that is built on love, trust, and mutual respect.

Though there’s no universal formula for a perfect marriage, avoiding certain common mistakes can significantly contribute to a healthier, more harmonious relationship that can help create a strong foundation for a lifetime of happiness together.

Here are some of the most frequent missteps couples should be aware of and work to avoid if they want their marriage to stand the test of time:

Poor communication: 

Many couples fall into the habit of assuming their partner knows what they need or how they feel, rather than expressing it openly. Over time, unspoken needs and unresolved frustrations can build, leading to resentment. Open, honest communication is crucial for resolving conflicts, understanding each other’s perspectives, and maintaining emotional intimacy. Remember, communication isn’t just about talking; it’s also about listening and empathising with your partner.

Taking each other for granted: 

In the hustle of daily life, it’s easy to fall into routines where partners stop acknowledging each other’s contributions. Whether it’s taking care of the household, managing finances, or supporting one another emotionally, every effort deserves appreciation. Over time, feeling unappreciated can create distance between spouses. Make a habit of expressing gratitude for the big and small things your partner does. Small gestures, like saying “thank you,” can go a long way in maintaining a strong emotional connection.

Neglecting individual needs:

While a marriage is a partnership, it’s essential for both partners to retain their individuality. Many couples make the mistake of becoming too dependent on one another, losing sight of their own interests, friendships, or hobbies. Healthy relationships allow space for both partners to grow individually. Supporting each other’s passions and personal time can create a stronger, more balanced partnership, where both individuals feel fulfilled and energised.

Avoiding conflict:

Contrary to popular belief, avoiding conflict isn’t always a sign of a healthy relationship. Sweeping issues under the rug can lead to unresolved problems that resurface later, often with greater intensity. Constructive disagreements, when handled with respect and care, can actually bring couples closer together by encouraging problem-solving and fostering deeper understanding. The key is to approach conflict as an opportunity for growth, rather than something to fear or avoid.

Neglecting physical intimacy:

Intimacy is a cornerstone of any marriage, yet many couples allow it to wane over time. Whether due to busy schedules, stress, or other factors, neglecting physical connection can lead to emotional distance. Prioritising intimacy, whether it’s through physical affection, thoughtful gestures, or spending quality time together, helps maintain a sense of closeness and keeps the bond between spouses strong. Don’t underestimate the importance of touch, affection, and shared experiences.

Failing to set boundaries:

Many couples struggle to balance their relationships with extended family and friends, often leading to unnecessary tension. It’s important to set clear boundaries and prioritise your marriage. This doesn’t mean cutting off loved ones, but it does mean ensuring that your spouse remains your primary confidant and partner. Unchecked external influences can strain a marriage, especially if partners feel undermined or unsupported in their decisions.

Ignoring financial issues:

Money is one of the leading causes of stress in marriages. Couples often avoid discussing their financial concerns or future plans, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. Being open about spending habits, debts, and financial goals is essential for building a stable future together. Financial planning should be a joint effort, with both partners contributing to decisions about budgeting, saving, and investing.

Not being honest with your partner:

Honesty is the best policy. If one person is keeping something from the other, it will eventually come out and cause conflict between them.

To be honest with each other, both partners need to make time for communication and listen openly without judgement or criticism when the other person speaks their truth. Honesty builds trust, which is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

* A version of this article appears in print in the 7 November, 2024 edition of Al-Ahram Weekly