Today, the traditional picture of marriage is changing and taking on new forms, one of which is “part-time” marriage. This is based on the idea that the husband and wife do not live together all the time. Each can live in a separate house and meet up for a few days a week or at times that suit them. This arrangement is becoming increasingly common in Western countries, and it is also gaining popularity in Egypt.
One Egyptian woman in her forties explained that she experienced a part-time marriage. “I got married early in life in my twenties, and my husband didn’t get an apartment before the marriage, so at first I lived with him in his mother’s apartment. It wasn’t easy to live with my in-laws. I didn’t have any privacy, and I wasn’t happy. As a result, we decided that I would live at my mother’s house until he found a house for both of us,” she said.
“I stayed at my mother’s house, and he stayed with his parents. He used to come and stay with me for a couple of days when we wanted to be intimate, but I wasn’t happy about that either as it felt as if we were only meeting each other for the physical relationship. Marriage means being connected with each other on every level and being involved in each other’s lives on a daily basis and not only for a couple of days a week. As a result, I asked for a divorce after four years of marriage.”
She said that a part-time marriage can work under specific conditions, for example, when two divorced people with children decide to get remarried and each continues to live with their children and to meet the other for a few days a week.
“But even if the husband and the wife can’t live in the same house for whatever reason, they still have to be committed to each other,” she added. “They must find time for each other, and the husband has to be financially responsible for his wife. There has to be commitment, not just meeting for intimate relations at the weekend.”
An anonymous young Egyptian woman who is now divorced said that a part-time marriage would be her choice for a second marriage.
“I believe that a part-time marriage is suitable for couples who have been married before and have children. Each one has responsibilities from previous marriages, and they are looking for an enjoyable relationship that is socially acceptable in a second marriage,” she said.
“Maybe a ‘distance marriage’ can also be a good thing. Being at a distance from your partner could make you miss him or her more and appreciate more his or her presence. If there are disagreements, a distance marriage can give more space, which is also healthy,” she added.
On the other hand, she said that the drawbacks of a part-time marriage include the fact that each partner is not always there for the other. “Some demands won’t be fulfilled because each one is living in a different house and has other responsibilities,” she explained.
According to Sherif Sabri, a doctor, if both the man and the woman have a balanced and stable mindset, their preference would naturally be to choose to live together in a regular marriage.
“I don’t believe that in marriage there is something called part time. The peace you feel in being married won’t be present if each one is living away from the other. In my opinion, part-time marriage is a Western idea that is odd to our values and identity,” he said.
“If I am divorced and have kids, I don’t believe this can be an excuse to choose a part-time marriage. If I choose a partner whom I love and trust, I want her to live with me and my children,” he said.
Said Sadek, a sociologist, said that part-time marriages are untypical in Egypt, where the typical marriage consists of a husband and a wife living together. However, part-time arrangements can occur under certain conditions.
One of these is a second marriage, where the husband and the wife have already been through a first marriage and have children. They live with their children, and they may decide to get remarried and spend quality time together during the week. Sometimes, the reasons are financial, as they may not be able to afford a single large house to live in together and may decide to live apart in smaller apartments. It may also be that the children from the earlier marriages do not get along well together.
Another reason for choosing a part-time marriage is that one of the partners is caring for their elderly father or mother, and they cannot leave them alone. Economic reasons may also be important, as each partner may be committed to a job that is far from their own, but they cannot leave due to financial commitments.
The advantages of part-time marriages are mostly for divorced couples, since instead of living as a single parent, it is often better to live with a spouse, even if not full-time. Part-time marriages can also avoid the sameness that sometimes afflicts regular marriages, as it gives each partner more incentive to be at their best when meeting up.
The disadvantages include the fact that neither partner is as involved in the other’s life as they would be in a regular marriage. For many, this involvement can be what marriage is all about.
There is also the question of responsibility. If one partner is ill, needs help at home, or has financial difficulties, the other may not be available in a part-time marriage. This can create disappointment because the cornerstones of a traditional marriage are lacking, which include availability and responsibility.
* A version of this article appears in print in the 17 April, 2025 edition of Al-Ahram Weekly
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