Some people shift from being energetic and driven to passive and withdrawn. They lose the desire to engage with anything, retreating from work or studies and finding everything beginning to feel like a burdensome obligation. This decline often stems from toxic relationships, leading to depression and a pervasive sadness that seeps into every aspect of their lives.
Such stories can take many forms, yet very often they remain locked behind walls and closed doors, unspoken by those unable to express them. But they all share a common thread: pain and emotional turmoil.
Reham, a 45-year-old wife and the mother of two daughters aged 12 and eight, said that “at first life with my husband was joyful and full of love. But then he started criticising me constantly, blaming me for even the smallest things. Over time, it escalated into verbal abuse, sometimes in front of our daughters.”
“I was shocked by the change from one extreme to another. Every day started to feel the same. Oftentimes I’d leave the house just to walk the streets in tears, overwhelmed by helplessness.”
“But I’m torn. He treats me cruelly and then suddenly becomes extremely kind. I don’t know what to do. I’ve considered leaving him, but many friends have warned me against it. I have no income, I don’t work, and he might refuse to support our daughters.”
She added that she has turned to support groups on social media and found that many other women have similar experiences. That’s when she learned that her husband fits the profile of a narcissist and that she is in a toxic relationship.
However, Reham remains at a crossroads, unsure how to resolve or cope with her situation. She still holds on to small dreams: waking up at her own pace, watching television, or enjoying a quiet cup of coffee, while maintaining her dignity in front of her daughters.
Maha’s story is different in detail, but the pattern of a toxic relationship is the same. Maha is a 23-year-old recent graduate from the Faculty of Commerce who is currently searching for a job. She suffers daily under the weight of her father’s constant suspicion and mistrust.
“I’ve lived my entire life with my father’s suspicion. Even when I spoke the truth, he would still see me as a liar and continue to doubt me,” she said.
“When I was a teenager, my father became obsessed with monitoring me, distrusting every interaction I had with the opposite sex. He would come to pick me up from private lessons, scrutinising every boy that was present. He would tell me that ‘I trust you, but I don’t trust the others,’ and all the while my mother remained silent and never intervened.”
“There were times when I was subjected to physical violence. If my father had the slightest suspicion about me or my behaviour, he would beat me. I want to work in an international company or bank, become financially independent, and leave home if my father continues this harsh treatment,” she said.
Mustafa challenges the widespread perception that only women suffer in toxic relationships. “In our society, it’s often assumed that women are the sole victims of toxic relationships, but men suffer too,” he said.
Almost 40 years old and married for 12 years, Mustafa is the father of a 10-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son. “I feel isolated and overlooked in my own family. I feel like nothing more than a financial provider. Whenever I say I can’t afford something, my wife reacts harshly and encourages our children to ignore me. She also accuses me of negligence in front of them,” he said.
Psychologist and family counsellor Iman Al-Rayes defines toxic relationships as “those in which one party psychologically drains the other, controlling them, diminishing their worth, or constantly threatening their emotional and psychological well-being.”
She said that there are clear signs indicating that a relationship is unhealthy, including constant psychological exhaustion after interacting with the other party, a lack of appreciation or support and persistent criticism or ridicule, control and emotional blackmail, frequent blame and threats of abandonment or punishment, constant feelings of guilt, isolation from family and friends, and a lack of emotional or psychological safety.
How to deal with a toxic relationship depends on who the toxic person is. If the toxic party is a spouse, clear boundaries should be set as soon as there is the feeling of an emotional drain. There should be clear and direct communication, problems should be discussed in a composed tone, and feelings should be expressed without accusations.
Professional help should be sought if the situation does not improve.
If the emotional or physical harm persists, serious consideration must be given to distancing or separating yourself in order to protect your well-being, Al-Rayes said.
In cases where the toxicity stems from children, she recommends clarifying your role as a parent while not allowing abuse or emotional blackmail, using respectful firmness, identifying the cause of the behaviour, and seeking educational or psychological counselling
When the toxic relationship involves a friend or colleague, Al-Rayes says you should regularly evaluate the relationship if you consistently feel drained, limit communication or keep it strictly professional if the relationship is unlikely to change or withdraw quietly because some relationships are not worth the confrontation.
Al-Rayes said that a toxic relationship with a parent is among the most difficult to endure, due to the biological and social bond. In such cases, “separate respect from submission,” she said. “Respect your parents, but do not accept insults or abuse.”
“Choose the right time and place to talk and use language that expresses your feelings without blame. Establish a safe distance. This may involve reducing interaction or limiting time spent with the harmful parent. Seek the support of a third party, such as a sibling or an influential family member.”
In general, Al-Rayes advises that those caught up in toxic relationships should “know your worth: people will treat you according to how you see your own value. Learn to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty and prioritise your mental health, even if it means losing certain people. Not all relationships are meant to last. Some relationships must end for healing to begin.”
Gamil Sobhi, a consultant and educational counsellor, said that “each person has a specific tolerance level. People must be aware of their limits and avoid pushing themselves beyond what they can bear.”
“Some people drain you. These are the toxic personalities, such as the narcissistic, the suspicious, and the overly critical,” he added.
“The narcissistic personality draws others in with affection and care, only to then subject them to abuse, before cycling back to kindness. Many people become attached to such personalities because they are capable of treating others well, offering hope, and creating strong emotional memories.”
“But the victim must realise that this personality is deeply harmful. It consistently makes you feel at fault, judges you as inherently wrong, and never sees its own flaws.”
“If you’re in a relationship with such a person, especially a romantic one, it is better to walk away. If the narcissist is a husband, you should either leave the relationship entirely, or if leaving is not an option, cultivate inner resilience and avoid being affected by criticism or conflict,” he said.
“Narcissists often use a tactic called punitive silence, withdrawing communication to punish others. During such periods, the victim should continue living life as usual. This frustrates the narcissist, because when their attempts fail and provoke no reaction, they become distressed, often without being aware of it.”
On dealing with an overly suspicious fiancée, Sobhi said that “this personality type is emotionally volatile and may react with anger when their directives are not followed. In such cases, distancing oneself is often necessary to avoid potential violence.”
“The critical personality seeks to mask their own insecurities by constantly finding fault in others.”
When it comes to physical violence in a toxic relationship, Sobhi offers firm advice. “If someone is being subjected to physical abuse, they must take a decisive stance. Many women tolerate this behaviour in the hope that their partner will change. However, violence often escalates over time,” he said.
“The psychological harm children suffer is also severe. As they grow older, it is essential that they seek help from a psychologist to understand the extent of the damage, learn how to navigate the relationship with their parents, and set firm boundaries, so that the harm does not spill over into their own marriages or relationships.”
Outside the circle of family, Sobhi continued, it is crucial to “set clear boundaries. Failing to do so may leave you vulnerable to manipulation or being involved in gossip or offensive conversations about colleagues. And it is always preferable to draw a line between friendship and professional relationships.”
* A version of this article appears in print in the 14 August, 2025 edition of Al-Ahram Weekly
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